I've spent the past few years in the same boat. I would study non stop for hours a day because I just wanted to be the best at something, and I was already good at school. I think what happened to both of us stems from a lack of self confidence and identity. We don't need to be anybody to be successful. In my opinion, our success should come from how we improve ourselves and others, even if it's just your family.
Hey there! I'm sorry you had that unfavorable experience but I'm also grateful you could identify with my writing here! Part of why I lacked self-confidence is actually cause I was directionally correct (feeling ambitious, knowing I wanted to DO something) but I wasn't confident/certain on what that was, and pair it with overachieving students and you ppl (like you did) staying up late studying or working on homeworks they didn't imagine being their path to "success." So for me, I'm a lot more confident because I know the "anybody" I do wanna be, I just didn't hand off the idea of who that could be to anyone but myself
Thank you for sharing your experience and getting me to think here!
I think we are taught that being successful means certain things (getting the best grades, making a lot of money, having a specific career path, achieving a level of fame) and we often don’t stop to question whether that’s actually the case for us. And that can lead to feeling like we are never doing enough and have to push ourselves further, because once you achieve one milestone, the goalpost moves forward.
But I think that we need to reframe how we view success and start asking ourselves how we actually just want to live our lives & spend our time on a daily basis. I think doing a hobby regularly for your own enjoyment is more of a success than pushing yourself to do it to be the best at it, for example, because in the first case you get to have fun day to day and actually focus on the things you like. :)
I think the misunderstanding begins when, as children, we’re told, “You’re destined for great things.” But what exactly counts as “great” was never really up to us, and no one ever asked us what it meant in our own eyes. Thank you for shining a light on this.
This gave me the kind of discomfort people need to grow, so thank you. I think, specially during high school, there’s a lot of pressure for kids to not be kids. To have to balance everything on top of everything and be outstanding. I know I often feel it, and it can be really discouraging to feel like I’m not living up to standard or “never doing enough.” I’m glad I’m not the only one and even more that I got to see your take on it; I’ve been starting to feel the pressure of ‘figuring it out’ recently but happiness has been feeling more valuable every single time I have achieved something I thought meant success. There’s still so many questions but I like the idea that there’s more value in asking the question than having the answer, at least right now.
Much appreciated :D Glad you’ve been resonating so much (or well idk, cause the subject matter is never good 😭) more so I’m glad u can take something away from my experiences!
I've spent the past few years in the same boat. I would study non stop for hours a day because I just wanted to be the best at something, and I was already good at school. I think what happened to both of us stems from a lack of self confidence and identity. We don't need to be anybody to be successful. In my opinion, our success should come from how we improve ourselves and others, even if it's just your family.
Hey there! I'm sorry you had that unfavorable experience but I'm also grateful you could identify with my writing here! Part of why I lacked self-confidence is actually cause I was directionally correct (feeling ambitious, knowing I wanted to DO something) but I wasn't confident/certain on what that was, and pair it with overachieving students and you ppl (like you did) staying up late studying or working on homeworks they didn't imagine being their path to "success." So for me, I'm a lot more confident because I know the "anybody" I do wanna be, I just didn't hand off the idea of who that could be to anyone but myself
Thank you for sharing your experience and getting me to think here!
I think we are taught that being successful means certain things (getting the best grades, making a lot of money, having a specific career path, achieving a level of fame) and we often don’t stop to question whether that’s actually the case for us. And that can lead to feeling like we are never doing enough and have to push ourselves further, because once you achieve one milestone, the goalpost moves forward.
But I think that we need to reframe how we view success and start asking ourselves how we actually just want to live our lives & spend our time on a daily basis. I think doing a hobby regularly for your own enjoyment is more of a success than pushing yourself to do it to be the best at it, for example, because in the first case you get to have fun day to day and actually focus on the things you like. :)
Thank you for the piece!
I think the misunderstanding begins when, as children, we’re told, “You’re destined for great things.” But what exactly counts as “great” was never really up to us, and no one ever asked us what it meant in our own eyes. Thank you for shining a light on this.
This gave me the kind of discomfort people need to grow, so thank you. I think, specially during high school, there’s a lot of pressure for kids to not be kids. To have to balance everything on top of everything and be outstanding. I know I often feel it, and it can be really discouraging to feel like I’m not living up to standard or “never doing enough.” I’m glad I’m not the only one and even more that I got to see your take on it; I’ve been starting to feel the pressure of ‘figuring it out’ recently but happiness has been feeling more valuable every single time I have achieved something I thought meant success. There’s still so many questions but I like the idea that there’s more value in asking the question than having the answer, at least right now.
Imposter syndrome ah! Ethan you are such a light and I always resonate with you and your articles so much! 🤍👏🏼 so glad you’re here!
Much appreciated :D Glad you’ve been resonating so much (or well idk, cause the subject matter is never good 😭) more so I’m glad u can take something away from my experiences!
👏👏👏